Valuing our Emotions

We have been taught to value our time, our talents and abilities, our strategic and rational thinking and our logical execution.

But seldom are we taught to value our emotions, at best they are to be avoided. In fact as men, we have been taught to suppress them, (as boys we are told “real men don't cry”, showing emotion as a man is sign of vulnerability and is a weakness) and that is exactly what we do.

We would rather not have them at work, so that we can get more work done...just imagine how much work we could get done, if people didn't call in sick – because they didn't “feel” like going. :)

Why do we espouse this thinking...that emotions are often distractions that need to be suppressed?

Well, because we've seen families divided, friendships ended, marriages broken due to anger and jealousy.

Fortunes have been lost by people on Wall Street given the emotions of fear and greed... some may even go as far as saying that the world financial crisis that we are experiencing today is because of people's unchecked emotions.

People (me included) have done some very dumb things because they got carried away by their emotions...the "Hang Over" movies are perfect examples of this.

Emotions can be bad for our health too. Consider the following research:
1. A study at Oschner Clinic in New Orleans, based on 5000 cases of gastrointestinal disorders, concluded that 74 percent of their patients' problems were emotionally induced.
2. The outpatient clinic of New York University has stated that 76 percent of their patients are there because of emotional stress.

We have been told and we know based on our experiences that we should never trust our emotions, because they fluctuate and change and that we should put our trust in God alone who is unchangeable and it's true. But are emotions all bad?

Left unchecked – they have led to many regrets and experiences that we would rather forget about. No wonder emotions have gotten a bad wrap.

But God created us with emotions, to be used to process life through these lens and not to control our lives, and to see and appreciate and draw attention to life itself.

Gary Chapman author of the 5 Love Languages has this to say about emotions, “Positive emotions help us enjoy life, while negative emotions inform us that something needs attention.”

We forget that love, joy and happiness are also emotions – albeit positive ones. Imagine how dull and meaningless life would be without these emotions.

Even negative emotions are helpful. It is because of our emotion of fear that we would rather not walk too close to the edge of a cliff. It is because of discontent that we are driven to progress, to innovate, to change.

Even the emotion of anger can be a strong motivator – the Edsa people power revolution was an event fuelled by anger which led to freedom and reform.

Instead of suppressing our emotions, may I suggest that we acknowledge them and learn how to respond to our emotions productively instead of destructively...they are valuable to us as human beings.

Let me leave you with a quote from Dr. Harold Sala about our emotions, “Emotions are the manifestations of your heart. It is this that makes you human – not a robot which moves on command or impulse to the bidding of a controlling power.”