Strong Faith

Jac and I found out last February 14 that we would once again be adding to the female population at home, as we were going to have our third girl, making me outnumbered 4 to 1, or as someone put it, I would now have 4 girls taking care of me. :)

We had been praying to the Lord and asking Him for a baby boy over the last several months, even as we were only trying to conceive, so over our Valentine's dinner date that night, I was somewhat amused and I was telling Jac that God must have a sense of humour.

No wonder both of us, including the kids were having trouble thinking of a name for our expected “sioti” or baby brother.

But only 1 hour after we knew that we were having a baby girl, God impressed upon our hearts to name her Valerie Faith.

Besides remembering that we gave her name on Valentine's day, Valerie comes from the word “valor” or strong and faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. It came to us so easily, and it was a beautiful name – full of meaning – one that expressed our desire for how we wanted her to live her life as she grew up...with “strong” faith.

Her ultrasound on that day was “normal”, as I watched the video we took - our doctor went through the pictures one by one, with each one after careful inspection saying that everything was normal for a baby of 20 weeks.

The conversation revolved around how Valerie would be just as beautiful as her mother and her 2 sisters Hannah and Rachel who of course look like their mom.

As parents our desire was to be able to teach our daughter to have a strong faith in the Lord by giving her a name full of meaning, little did we know that what the Lord intended was the opposite, which was for our daughter to teach her parents about faith.

You see as a businessman, I am used to getting answers to questions and solutions to problems and succeeding by planning and working hard on “any” task.

But what happened to Valerie at 22 weeks, was a question without an answer but faith, a problem without a solution but faith.

You see, we visited so many hospitals and doctors over the last 3 weeks and we got so many blood tests done to the point that Jac was anemic, but we still couldn't get any answers to what was wrong with her.

We even went to Singapore because there were no tests here that could provide answers to what might have caused Valerie's sickness, but the doctors both here and there could not provide answers and solutions as to how to treat her condition.

For someone used to answers and solutions, what was happening to our baby was very unsettling.

Valerie taught me that faith is trusting in the Lord despite our problems, our questions and our helplessness, and it's choosing to trust and love the Lord inspite of them.

We will never fully understand what happened, but are comforted by what the Lord said in Isaiah 55:8-11 which says, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.”

Valerie was heaven sent, though she lived in this world only 53 minutes, I can not describe the joy I felt in holding her for the first time [pause], Jac says that she has my ears [pause], but its even harder to put into words the pain I felt as she died in my arms.

But I know in my heart that Valerie returned to the Lord having accomplished what He desired. He made me realize that more than anything, more than the pursuit of answers and solutions, He wants my faith in Him. And because of this, I know she did not return to the Lord empty.

To our family and friends, I would like to thank you for your prayers, for your help and support during these past several weeks. We always felt surrounded by people who were not only concerned for us, but also loved us.

Lastly, I would like to thank the Lord for giving us Faith. In the world's eyes, she may have been born with a defect, a weak heart (her death certificate shows she died of heart failure), or just another statistic to be added under the category of unexplained “accidents”.

But as Psalms 139 says, I know that she is fearfully and wonderfully made by the Lord and His works are wonderful, to Him there are no accidents.

You see Valerie gave us faith, we needed her more than she needed us. She gave us faith for questions that have no answers, for questions that only God has the answers to, for problems that only God has the solution to and for that we celebrate her life.

Valerie, we love you...thank you for teaching us so much. With faith in the finished work of Christ, we know that you are now in heaven and we look forward to the day that we will see you again.

Here is the video of Valerie's birth, which I would like to share with you.